


Messed Up

by shinnyluvssuju



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 16:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18524851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinnyluvssuju/pseuds/shinnyluvssuju
Summary: Julian was well drunk. From what he could tell from across the room Noel was too, and he wondered how on earth Noel could walk so well in heels while smashed. He got the answer to that question when he saw Noel trip over his own feet and almost eat the floor.





	Messed Up

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing very explicit but some darker/mature/sad themes are discussed so if that bothers you this may not be the read for you. If you're fine with that, hope you enjoy!

Julian was well drunk. From what he could tell from across the room Noel was too, and he wondered how on earth Noel could walk so well in heels while smashed. He got the answer to that question when he saw Noel trip over his own feet and almost eat the floor. 

Julian laughed out loud, and Noel turned around. His face lit up when their eyes met. “Oi, are you laughing at me, Barratt?” he yelled, stumbling over to him. Noel attempted to push him on the chest, but Julian didn’t move an inch. “Fucking giant northern tree man.” 

“Fucking South London drunkard,” Julian grinned. “Now are you done talking to anyone and everyone so I can see you for a minute?” 

“Jealousy! I can’t believe it.” 

Julian huffed. “Not true.”

“Just incredibly horny?”

“Exactly.” 

Noel laughed, and Julian knew that laugh. A sense of dread immediately went over him. Julian couldn’t tell if he was angry or saddened or both. But maybe, he thought, just maybe, it would be fine. The drunk devil on his shoulder convinced him to lead Noel outside anyway despite his better judgement. 

Noel leaned against the brick wall, away from the noise and the bright lights of the club. “You got a fag on you?” Noel asked, sounding less like a question and more like one big jumbled up word. 

Julian sighed and got one for himself as well. He blocked the evening wind with his hand as he lit Noel’s and then his own. 

“What’s the matter?” Noel asked, tilting his head like a puppy. 

“Nothing,” Julian lied. Noel grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him closer. 

“Then you and me should go back to your place,” Noel said with a low voice, then laughed that same, god awful laugh. “Fuck, almost burned m’self.” 

“Yeah…” Julian trailed off and while Noel kissed him, he debated the current situation in his mind. For one, he had wanted Noel all night. It felt like he was gonna go crazy if he didn’t get off soon. I’m drunk as well, he thought, so maybe going through with having sex with Noel would be morally correct that way. Both parties drunk, no one taking advantage, problem solved. But wait you dickhead, he thought. You’re not completely incoherent like Noel is. You still have the power to make your own decisions. He might not. Also, being pretty drunk is quite different from being very high, you asshole. You’re in denial if you think otherwise. 

Noel noticed Julian’s lack of participation. He pulled away and asked, “Come on, what’s wrong?”

Julian groaned. “I just -- I can’t do, this. Not when you’re like this.”

“Like what?”

Julian laughed bitterly. “Come on, Noel. I know you’re high. It’s obvious.”

“I am not!” he vehemently protested. 

Julian raised an eyebrow. “Really, so you think I’m a complete fool now?”

Noel looked away from him angrily. “Okay, okay. I know you’re mad about that. But what does it have to do with, with us going back to your flat?”

“We can go back to my flat,” Julian said. “But only if you want to get some rest. Nothing else.”

“What the fuck is this all of a sudden?” Noel asked. “What’s with you? Even if I’m high I still know what I want!”

“Do you really though?” Julian asked. 

“I’m like, ninety percent sure, yes!” 

Julian shook his head. “I’m not taking chances with that ten percent. I’m sorry. I’m not going to let you make this mistake. I should go.”

“Why would sleeping with you be a mistake?” Noel interjected. “When would it ever be? Isn’t that what people in relationships do, fuck each other?” 

Julian desperately didn’t want this fight to happen. However, his stubbornness forced him to throw down his last and final point. “How do you think that makes me feel? I-it makes me feel like to you I’m good enough to fuck but not good enough to actually remember. You’re going to forget we even had this conversation.” 

“Julian, I’m not that high! Why don’t you believe me?” 

“Because of the way you always laugh when you get really fucked up, okay? It’s like this really… airy, far away kind of laugh? I don’t know. But don’t you think I know you well enough where I can tell?” 

“This is stupid,” Noel said. “Can we just--”

“I’m going home,” Julian said. Fuck, he felt horrible. He turned around and walked to his car, Noel yelling at him the whole way. 

“Fine then! Anyone in that club would fuck me anyway! Wanting to fuck my boyfriend doesn’t make me a shit person! I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about! Go, fucking leave then!”

Nothing kills a boner more than extreme guilt. 

In his heart, Julian knew he was doing the right thing. And tomorrow when Noel had sobered up and calmed down, he would understand and know that, too. It didn’t stop it all from hurting so much, though. 

Julian made it home and collapsed onto his bed. His phone was vibrating almost nonstop. He looked at the messages popping up on his screen but didn’t dare open then. He couldn’t. 

Noel 11:53pm  
Julian im sorry pls come back  
Noel 11:53pm  
Can we forget about this   
Noel 11:53pm  
I know im the one thats wrong ok im sorry just come back now pls i dont wanna be here without you  
Noel 11:54pm  
Please don’t ignore me. Please   
Noel 11:54pm  
JULIAN  
Noel 11:55pm  
Why are you doing this to me  
Noel 11:57pm   
I know i upset u but how do u think i feel being the one that fucked everyhing up   
Noel 11:57pm  
U told me u would never do this to me   
Noel 11:58pm   
Fuckin hell what do u want me to do im so sorry jst answer me   
Noel 12:03am  
Come back. I love you   
Noel 12:08am  
I cnt belive your gonna leave me here your just like everyone else   
Noel 12:13am  
That was mean im sorry i didnt mean that im just mad  
Noel 12:18am  
Guess ill taxi home later then  
Noel 12:20am  
A response would b nicee  
Noel 12:27am  
Just ring me in the mornin yeah i wanna say sorry and u need to kno i mean it   
Noel 12:31am   
Fuck  
Noel 12:46am  
Mayb ur sleep goodnight then juliann im sry n i love u 

Julian was pretty sure his flatmates heard him cry. He didn’t care though. They wouldn’t understand. They couldn’t. 

That morning he was woken up by someone banging on his door. He groaned and yelled, “What do you want?” 

One of his flatmates barged in. “Julian, your mate’s been sitting outside for hours, you letting him in or what?” 

Julian practically did a double-take. “What? Who?”

“I don’t fuckin’ remember his name, the uh, the kid who dresses like a chick half the time, the one you write shit with, that one. It ain’t cool of you to forget you invited him over and leave him out there.” His flatmate walked away. 

“Noel?” Julian said aloud. 

“Oh right, that’s his name!” his flatmate yelled. 

Julian got up and ran to the front door, and there Noel was, passed out on his front lawn. Julian leaned down and shook him. “Noel, what are you doing?” 

Noel very slowly came to and sat up. “Oh shit, I didn’t fall asleep did I?” 

“You sure did. Why?”

Noel chuckled. “At like four in the morning,” he said. “I got this idea to make you not mad at me anymore by standing on your front lawn playing a love song like in an eighties movie, but when I got here I realized I don’t have a boombox. And that it was a stupid idea. And I was well wasted so I must’ve passed out here in the grass. Slept okay, though.” 

Julian really couldn’t help but laugh. “Jesus, come inside, will you?” He gave Noel a hand to help him up and to his happiness Noel actually took it. “Want coffee?” 

“Absolutely.” 

“I’m sorry I made you mad last night.” 

“I don’t want your ego to get even bigger after I say this,” Noel said. “But you were right. I’m not mad anymore.” 

“Me either. Now come on, it’s cold out here.” 

“Julian?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re the first person that’s ever done that for me. Thank you.” 

Julian sighed. “I love you, you berk, alright? I’m guessing you’re gonna need an aspirin or two to go with that coffee.” 

Noel smiled and followed him inside.


End file.
